fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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