Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we're making bets on your personal life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I die, sorry about rent.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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