It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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