Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
