If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
