We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
