Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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