My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize