ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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