you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
