***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize