Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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