I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
