Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
