so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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