A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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