Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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