THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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