ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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