All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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