Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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