Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
