You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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