I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
