I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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