I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
