Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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