is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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