Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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