White coat. Heels.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
