absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
