Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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