We're facebook friends in real life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
