Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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