His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
