I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
