I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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