I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
