i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
