just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
