Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
