I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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