If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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