Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
