i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
