they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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