He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
