OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
