I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
