Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize