that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sacagawea was the original milf.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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