Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
