yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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