Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
