So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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