Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize