Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
