Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
