woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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