Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
