Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
