I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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