sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
