Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
