I cockslap morals
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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