hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
