you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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