at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
