My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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