put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Do vagina's smell?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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