Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sext me about skeletons
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize