we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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