got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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